April 27th, 2007


About The Latest Wave Of Flames

Maybe the community needs to sit down and watch Mean Girls in some sort of virtual meet-up. Maybe Novala needs to come and read us all a story about how the maiden made of ice truly wants that one special friend to pierce her lonely heart with the painful flame of friendship.

Or something.

First of all, there has been a level of viciousness among community members lately that we haven't seen in a while, and I think there is an explanation for it.

Members who have been on for a loooooong time from the glory days of hot pink,,faux-fur leg-warmer advertisements generally don't bother commenting very much anymore. But before that many of us went through the same sort of "Oh. My. God. Is that poster serious?" phase. And yes, there were some fairly bitchy comments that went out in the community. These things go in cycles. Now all the long-toothed members have sort of moved on and just read entries, scrolling past whatever they don't have interest in.

Members who have been on for a while are entering that phase where they've got Lolita down pat, have a nice collection and are now rolling their eyes at the newbies, especially the ones who seem to just not get it.

And then we have the new members... we'll discuss that in a second.

The problem is that the proportions of new members to old is quite a bit larger than "back in the day". Gothic Lolita was still fairly obscure outside of Japan when I was first getting into it, so I only saw maybe one or two newbie posts a week, and maybe only three or four a month that were just plain silly. So there was a reduced level of "what the heck".

But since Lolita is becoming more popular and more accessible, the community is getting a much, much larger influx of people asking really basic questions, not reading up on their material, and posting outfits that have nothing to do with anything Lolita.

And it's bringing out the nasty all over.

So I'm going to address the newbies first:

1) When you post, assume that your question probably has been asked half a dozen times and that people really are tired of hearing about it. Which means, don't post, read.

2) You are probably not going to get it right the first time around. Don't take it personally. Listen to constructive crit, go back, try again.

3) Read, read, read. Observe, observe, observe. Lolita isn't "serious" but it is a fashion that requires attention to detail. If you want to just bum around in whatever, enjoy yourself. But don't carelessly post pictures that show you have put no thought whatsoever into what you are wearing.

4) Don't take things personally. It's hard to not take criticism as a personal attack at times, but just think of it as a compliment. If people take the time out to tell you what you need to improve, then they obviously have given you some of their attention rather than ignoring you.

5) If people get nasty, ignore them. In the end, they're only noticeable because you're giving them attention and they're loud.

6) DON'T BE ARROGANT. If someone says something, don't just insist and insist that you're right. If they say something and you really, really disagree, just don't take that advice. And in general, accept that most people who say things really do know what they're talking about. If you act arrogantly, don't be surprised if people respond in kind.

And to the rest of the community:

It's fine to roll your eyes privately. It's okay to shake your head and say "What the hell?". The problem is when you start making those private thoughts public because you think they're funny. Most nastiness isn't actually that funny and it makes you look immature. Yes, Lolitas can be catty and kind of harsh. Yes, people have days where they "snap" or get pissed off. Not everyone is sweet and ^_^ all the time, some people are sarcastic and dry, and hell everyone has moments where they are just downright JERKS. That's called being human.

But just being consistently and constantly trashing other people makes you a bully. Enjoying the fact that other people are in pain or offended makes you a bully. Putting people down constantly makes you a bully.

A lot of people who wear Lolita aren't all that social or they feel isolated. It's something that's been brought up a lot in the community. Many people here wear Lolita because somehow it suits them and makes them happy even though people think they are weird and strange because of it. So how can anyone here justify being a bully?

Even if you say "Well I don't have that problem. I'm happy, I have a lot of friends, etc." then why act this way? Bullying others regularly just shows a lack of self-confidence. Why not just shrug things off? Because you can say "I did it for the LULZ", but honestly how funny is it really? After a while it just gets boring and old. Unless that's the only way you can reassure yourself as a person.

No, the world of Lolita is not all cupcakes and butterflies. But it's not that hard to just roll your eyes and move on without comment. In the end you're the bigger person for just doing something else instead of dropping a flame, and that person who made the stupid mistake can't say "Well people are mean!" as a justification for not trying harder at Lolita.

I've always wondered....

There is waloli and qiloli but is there a style based on korean fashion? In any case I would be interested in seeing some of your ideas of what a Korean inspired Lolita would look like. (I know there are enough artists out there let's see some designs)

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Btssb in ECO

I just noticed this on the Btssb Website. It looks like there will be Btssb characters/clothing in an RPG called Emil Chronicle Online.  They seem to have the plaid jsk in red and pink, heart buckle shoes, wooden soled shoes, heart bag, parasols, the bunny bear backpack, and some headdresses/headbows.

Yeah, I know this is like my second post in... twenty minutes or something... sorry.

Alright ladies - I've got a few questions. :D

First, was that community ever created that was made to give advice on outfits? I haven't been watching as closely as normal.

and secondly, I was wondering if someone with a Baby Bunny Bear Bag would be kind enough to work with me? I'm thinking of making a replica bag over the summer, however, I'll need quite a few detailed shots, and measurements.

Any interest?
Liv Tyler

Height issues.

Okay, so I was just looking at ITS' petticoats and decided I'd go ahead with buying one. The measurements say it's 16.5 inches - around 41cm.

I got out my measuring tape and put it at my natural waist (where it narrows just before expanding down to the hip) and let it fall down 41cm... and it lands like 10cm above my knees. D:

I'm around 5'6 (168cm) or so. I knew that I'd be a few centimetres short above the knees in skirts/jsks/pettis but going from my waist down, it seems much too short! All the brand skirts and pettis I'm looking at right now seem to be between 45-50cm long... if I were to buy the ITS petti at its standard 41cm, would I run into the problem of having a too-short petti under brand things? But I can't buy a longer petti and then have it always peeking out under my skirts! I read in another entry that 19" (48cm) is the standard for knee length for most people, and 48cm long fits me fine, but I'm just worried that by extending the petti I'll end up with it showing all the time.

Am I measuring the length wrongly on myself or am I simply out of luck? Or is 10cm above the knee passable? D: Halp-!

(Seriously wishing I had short genes right now)

Actually; on this topic, what constitutes as a "short" loli skirt and a "long" one? Obviously something like a miniskirt is not appropriate, but in the acceptable range of lengths, which measurements would be the extreme? In my limited experience of buying lolita, 40cm seems short to me, 50cm seems just right, and anymore seems to be getting long/over the knee. I'm mostly wondering what the average across the whole board is.
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Shimotsuma Lolitas: put your pennies together!

The super-rare (?) famous rose embroidery jumperskirt featured in Shimotsuma Monogatari / "Kamikaze Girls" has shown up on Closet-Child!
As of this moment it isn't sold out yet, so you might be able to grab it.

That is, if you've got 52,800 yen to spare.
  [ english translated version]

Come on you guys!  I'm rooting for one of us on egl to grab it... if only to live vicariously through your photos of it.