Toxic People and Lolita
I've been having this happen to me for a while now, and I wanted to share my story, as well as give others some advice that has worked for me.
So I'm a relatively new Lolita, having been introduced to the fashion by some very good friends of mine. I was proud when I started getting my dresses and skirts back in January, and I couldn't wait to wear them. I used to do Renaissance Faires, and for my (now former) group's February meeting, I donned my red tartan AP JSK (note, the first outfit in this post) with a black blouse and went to the meeting. While there, my now-former Guildmistress absolutely gushed about how cute and pretty my outfit was, and how I could make it Steampunk with a proper corset, and so on.
That was all to my face. Behind my back, she was saying that I looked pregnant. After I officially left the Guild, she has just gotten nastier and nastier with the insults about my wearing Lolita, saying I look like pregnant, I look like a fat whore, I look like a fat toothless troll, and so on. She also says that the only reason girls wear Lolita was to attract pedophiles, that 'all fat girls need corsets and shouldn't wear Lolita', all the typical insults.
Now, I'm a Plus-sized Lolita. I've always known that, and while I sometimes weep for brand goodies I'll never fit into (figuratively speaking), I'm quite happy with myself and with my appearance. The woman who is insulting me is a very bitter, very nasty person who continues to spew bile about me even though I've left the group. But all of that is its own tangent.
Here's my advice to everyone else out there who is into Lolita. We all wear a very unique style. We are all incredibly diverse and incredibly different, and some people really feel threatened by that. Sadly, there are extremely selfish, bitter people out there who are so consumed by their bitterness that they feel they need to tear down someone else's happiness, and they will stoop to any level of harassment to achieve that goal. Additionally, they want the attention from you. They want to know they're affecting you. Just keep singing your song, keep wearing your frills, and love yourself no matter what. Take care of yourself, and don't let the haters take you down. At least, that's what I'm doing. I am not answering this woman's bile, I refuse to engage with her hatred, and I just keep living my life as I see fit. I hope that this gives others some solace. Believe me, if you've been talked about for wearing Lolita -whether behind your back or to your face- you aren't alone.
Much love to everyone on this community. <3
So I'm a relatively new Lolita, having been introduced to the fashion by some very good friends of mine. I was proud when I started getting my dresses and skirts back in January, and I couldn't wait to wear them. I used to do Renaissance Faires, and for my (now former) group's February meeting, I donned my red tartan AP JSK (note, the first outfit in this post) with a black blouse and went to the meeting. While there, my now-former Guildmistress absolutely gushed about how cute and pretty my outfit was, and how I could make it Steampunk with a proper corset, and so on.
That was all to my face. Behind my back, she was saying that I looked pregnant. After I officially left the Guild, she has just gotten nastier and nastier with the insults about my wearing Lolita, saying I look like pregnant, I look like a fat whore, I look like a fat toothless troll, and so on. She also says that the only reason girls wear Lolita was to attract pedophiles, that 'all fat girls need corsets and shouldn't wear Lolita', all the typical insults.
Now, I'm a Plus-sized Lolita. I've always known that, and while I sometimes weep for brand goodies I'll never fit into (figuratively speaking), I'm quite happy with myself and with my appearance. The woman who is insulting me is a very bitter, very nasty person who continues to spew bile about me even though I've left the group. But all of that is its own tangent.
Here's my advice to everyone else out there who is into Lolita. We all wear a very unique style. We are all incredibly diverse and incredibly different, and some people really feel threatened by that. Sadly, there are extremely selfish, bitter people out there who are so consumed by their bitterness that they feel they need to tear down someone else's happiness, and they will stoop to any level of harassment to achieve that goal. Additionally, they want the attention from you. They want to know they're affecting you. Just keep singing your song, keep wearing your frills, and love yourself no matter what. Take care of yourself, and don't let the haters take you down. At least, that's what I'm doing. I am not answering this woman's bile, I refuse to engage with her hatred, and I just keep living my life as I see fit. I hope that this gives others some solace. Believe me, if you've been talked about for wearing Lolita -whether behind your back or to your face- you aren't alone.
Much love to everyone on this community. <3