Appropriate manners, are they necessary?

I've heard almost everywhere that Lolitas aren't very kind, for me it breaks my heart, in view Lolitas are very kind.
To my horror I've seen many Lolitas "bash" on newer ones just because they don't know the ways.

I dare not say what happened at a convention, but i saw another lolita get slapped because she miss took Gothic Lolita as Kuro Lolita. And that lolita my dear roses was I. But this incident was a few years back.

Now do you think that we should have appropriate manners and act as we dress?

Or...Not?