Mary (zombiesunshine) wrote in egl,
Mary
zombiesunshine
egl

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Parents' reactions?

Okay- let's get started by saying I'm a 14 year old, I've got one loli piece, a skirt from bodyline.  It's black with a piano print around the hem and hear shaped pockets with music notes on them.  I've coordinated it in several non-loli ways, and my parents were fine with that.  But, when I showed them a picture of a sweet loli and commented that I found her outfit cute, I wound up getting a very long "talk" about how dressing that way encourages pedophilia.  They said that they liked the outfits I'd put together before *read: no petticoat and white t-shirt.* but would never, ever want to see me dressed like that.  I admit that I hold both my parents in very high esteem, and so it kind of hurt to see them talking that way about something important to me.  I think that the only way I managed to get away with liking any part of the style at all was showing them the Victorian Maiden website, and even then my mom was pointing out the stuff she hated!   The problem is, while I love classic loli, I'm an old-school sweet loli at heart.  I love the soft pastels, and huge, stiff bonnets, and the poofy skirts, the ruffled knee socks, and head-eating bows.  And I know that they'll never let me wear any of it.  I've tried "testing" my mom on various things, like showing her pictures on daily_lolita, and all of that.  I've been really careful to avoid anything that might look like ageplay to the "untrained" eye, so I even skipped over a country co-ord I was head-over-heels in love with.  But, when I showed her one I was sure was "safe," a  girl wearing Paris window in black, my mom said, "Ew, that is not a good look."   I've tried explaining the style, I've tried showing them more subtle pieces, but they just don't seem to want me to like it!  My mom says that I can like things she doesn't, but, somehow I get the feeling that if I splurged my Christmas money and got myself an adorable Baby the Stars Shine Bright JSK in sax blue, she wouldn't be pleased.   So, what I'm asking is, what do you do if your parents, or your significant other, or somebody else with a big influence on your life HATES lolita?  Is there any way left I can change their minds?  Or, should I just give up until I go to college?  Should I just buy stuff or make stuff without telling them? (that one seems like a pretty bad idea, though...)  Because, I'm totally in love with this style, but I don't want to be a bad daughter, either.
EDIT-  Wow, thank you for the huge reaction, all of your comments were very helpful!  I admit that I am a bit of a crybaby, so, I have a rough time keeping a straight face at some things.  My parents are very fair for the most part, we're just very close, so I have a hard time whenever we have a disagreement over something.  When I said, "Significant other," I was just trying to mention another example of somebody with a big influence on your life who you'd want to please.  I've never had a boyfriend. ^^"  I'm planning on using my sewing machine to make skirts and such in the basic shape using prints which my mom hopefully won't find offensive.  Also, they've agreed that I can spend some of my Christmas money on the rufflebuttocity, and they'll pay for shipping!  So, I've mostly resolved this problem, thank you again everyone!
Tags: discussion: parents, discussion: reactions to lolita
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