My wonderful friend, with shattered confidence as is, got into lolita quickly and unfortunately bought some of the most ita sets I have seen in my life. I'm not talking it being a bit short or some raschel lace or things like that, I mean her only dresses are covered in large lines of raschel lace. They came with leg warms and some arm warmers, I believe. She has no blouses, knee socks, loliable shoes - nothing except a petticoat and I'm not sure of its length. I figure the majority of us have accidently let a few (or more) non-loli things into our wardrobe at first and then have altered/gotten rid of them as we learned over time what's proper and what's not.
She has said that she loves my version of lolita much better but otherwise hasn't shown any progress. I think I linked egl to her once to see if she'd read the beginner's section, but this hasn't happened.
If necessary, I can possibly make her one skirt before the meet, and get her some offbrand shoes/socks. Maybe she can borrow a blouse of mine if necessary.
How can I help her see what's lolita and what's not, before our meet-up, without being rude? I don't want her to leave loli, as she's scared enough as-is to wear it in public. I know she wants to try, but I'm worried telling her this so quickly may make her leave something she's spent so much money on.
What do I do? How do I tell her politely? I figure its better for me to do it nicely and in private rather than have the possibility of these girls being rude to her because she doesn't know better.
Edit: Whoops! I am going to "unscreen" the replies, as I hadn't known they would disappear. I hardly post on LJ. Sorry!
Edit #2: We've gone to a non-lolita event with her in one of her dresses. We were easily visible in public and I didn't mind it at all. I'm worried that the girls at the meet-up may cause problems since I don't know them personally. That's why I want to lean her to a better direction before going to the meet-up. Her self esteem is highly delicate enough - I don't need a group of girls we don't know to push her over the edge to possibly make her anorexic/commit suicide/something worse. I apologize for not making that clear.
Endnote: Thanks to everyone who replied. I will be doing a mixture of many things that many of you mentioned, but most of all I will give her the option of wearing a skirt I made with one of my blouses if she wants to. I will let her figure things out with little guidance and try to set an example through showing her daily_lolita soon.